4.05.2010

Baby Wise?? HELP!

So I broke down and bought the book today. The baby whisperer ended up being too rigid for me to follow because we are on the go too much. This is my last resort to get Keating to sleep at night. I am about to pull out my hair!!!
He has a good stretch of sleep for 4-5 hours, but it never fails that he wakes up at 2am. From that point he wants to nurse all night, and not out of hunger. He just wants to be comforted. It is impossible to get him back to sleep and he ends up in our bed. Which is extremely dangerous and I hate doing that, but half delirious and not using my best judgment....thats where he sleeps.

So mamas, what do I do as far as letting him cry? I hate hearing him cry and always rush to pick him up, so this is going to be torture. I know he isnt hurt or sick when he cries, he is just a wee bit dramatic. The kid has a set of lungs that he LOVES to exercise. How long did you let yours cry before intervening? The book says it shouldnt take longer than 45 min... but that seems WAY too long to let a 7 week old baby cry.

Advice PLEASSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE!

20 comments:

  1. I've heard of people doing the whole baby wise thing and it working, but also people who are very against it. I'm not a mom but my sister just had her second child on Feb.4th. She still gets up with him every 2 hours to feed him. Hope someone is able to give you some advice that works, but I really think each baby is different and you just have to find what works for you. Eventually he will sleep through the night, all babies/kids do. Good luck!

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  2. Take a deep breath. He is 7 weeks old. Most babies don't sleep a full 8 hours a night until 2.5-3 months. That being said enjoy your 4-5 hr stretch. Part of his needing you in just that. He wants to be comforted. I'm probably the wrong person to ask though because "Cry it out" makes me sad. It was just to much for us. Just remember he is your baby so you get to decide what is right and if sleeping in your bed for half of the night works and you are all sleeping ok. Than let it. Hugs for what ever you try and work out.

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  3. I don't have a baby so I don't know this from personal experience...BUT, my sister in law read Baby Wise and followed it to a T and she has the happiest baby I have ever seen and she slept through the night at I think two weeks! Good luck and don't pull your hair out! ~A

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  4. I let my little boy "cry it out" when he was 8 months old and I only wish that I had done it sooner. I would put him in his bed then after 5 minutes if he was still crying I would go in, pat his back and say "it's ok". Then I would walk out again. I repeated this until he finally went to sleep making it longer each time. For example, 5 min, 9 min, 12 min, etc. He finally went to sleep after 45 minutes. BUT the next time it was only 20 minutes and he was out. Then after that only 5 minutes. Now he's 4 years old and has been sleeping through the night since. I know it's hard but it's so much better for them and for you. They get good sleep and so do you!

    -Juli

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  5. My daughter is 8 months...I too had/have the habit of putting her into my bed. Now she sleeps long enough where she makes it until 4 or 5am...and I just put her in my bed bc I know I can get a few extra hours out of her without getting her a bottle. I've never read the baby wise, but I would assume if he wakes up and you feed him and he has a full belly...there is no reason why he shouldn't be able to go to sleep. Like you said, he's not hurt and he's safe, so maybe a little crying it out and teaching him to soothe himself would be good. Good Luck!

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  6. This is EXACTLY what I am going through. My baby is younger than Keating but is doing the same thing at night. PLUS - we do the same thing around 430-5am. My husband has to wake up at 6am for work so about 5am is when I "give up" and put the little man-cub in bed with us..terrible, I know. Please post more on your thoughts about the book...just might have to make that investment too :)

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  7. I remember those days mama, and they were rough. I was like you, my hubs told me I needed to let her cry. She was a sleep fighter and I remember just sitting in the livingroom crying my eyes out as she cried hers out. It sounds crazy but me blow drying my hair would put her to sleep every time....who knew?! Hope you get it all worked out and get a good nights sleep. xoxo

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  8. I have no advice because my babe is still in the belly...However, I also bought Babywise and am very curious to see if it works with Keating! I plan on reading it this summer...keep us updated! Good luck!

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  9. I love reading these comments I am due in august and just cant decide what method I am going with I'm a first time mom and right now I think I could be able to let her cry it out but I might be singing a diffrent tune once she is here I am sooo very against the baby sleeping in the bed and co sleeping but I can see where I will be soo exhausted and desperate a few hours in the early morning I will be doing the same thing in a couple months I love reading your blog your so honest with what you are going through in these early months your doing such a good job! I know it can be nice to hear sometimes!

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  10. Obviously I have no experience yet, but a few of my good friends from church read Baby Wise, and their experience has been nothing but good. They have said things similar to Andrea & Juli said above.
    From what I've seen they have very happy, healthy babies that seem very content and they rarely cry.

    Good luck hun! I hope things start getting a little easier, whatever you decide to do!

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  11. Honestly I thought before 4 months was too early to sleep train. I read all the books and tried everything! Some things worked for a while then she would be right back where she started. Finally the day before she turned 8 mo. she just decided that she wanted to sleep for 13 hours straight and never looked back. I spent so much time worrying and stressing about it and she just did it when she was ready. 8 months of getting up at night was hard, but it will pass in a flash. It does get better!

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  12. Oh I forgot to add that 'crying it out' does work when they are old enough! Its really hard on the MOM, but you have to be strong and stick with it or your just letting them cry for no reason. I have a cd I played from her birth that we play every night after putting her in her crib. When she hears it she knows it means bedtime! It's nice because then I'm not just putting her in a dark room and expecting her to go to bed. Sorry this is so long I just went through this so it's still fresh! lol

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  13. I read and adapted Baby Wise with both of my children. I believe that it is never to early to work on sleep training as LONG as you {mommy} had the right expectations for the little one. Each child IS different, but with patience, I think that this method can be worked with many types of sleepers. My daughter loved her sleep. She was fed breast milk via a bottle {due to nursing complications} and slept all night from the time she was 6 weeks old. My focus the first few weeks was not as much on sleep, as settling in to a nice feeding routine in which I interacted with her and she would not fall asleep. I was home during these early months, so I had the time to devote to interacting with her AFTER she ate but BEFORE she slept. It was hard in the early weeks, but I tried to put her down when she was in the stage between fully awake and asleep.

    With my second child it was not as easy:) He was not the sleeper his sister was and was exclusively breast fed for the first 5 months and then bottle/breast when I returned to work. I still followed Baby Wise and made sure that me, daddy, and big sister interacted with him after each meal. Eat, Wake, Sleep...that's the idea. Sometimes he would cry when we put him down. I would let him cry for about 3-5 minutes and go in and pat him and speak gently to him. If this did not work, I would wait 5 more minutes and go in pat him but NOT speak to him. I would repeat this as many times as needed, but it usually did not take more that 3 times and he would be out!

    I know you are tired, but if you can devote a solid week to training at night...I believe it will pay dividends in sleep in the coming weeks! Like others have said, he IS little and time will fix this. My philosophy is that you can devote the time/sleep up front to develop good sleeping habits, or devote time/sleep for months to come {and neither is right or wrong its just a choice:}

    Know that it DOES get better and one day {although it is hard to believe} you will not remember your struggles in the same light as you see them now. They will be happy memories!

    God Bless!

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  14. neither of my boys slept through the night until 3 months--and it was like 3 months on the nose. . .however, I did not have the issue of them waking up and not going back down either. I do think that 7 weeks is too young to cry it out. . .that's just my opinion though.
    Have you tried after you feed him just comforting him by having a hand on him rather than holding? or one of those stuffed animals that has the noises (heartbeat, ocean, music, etc?) I had a really hard time with Evan sleeping for naps and that worked for him from time to time. I think I still have it somewhere, if you don't want to buy one.

    just remember to keep realistic expectations!! it seems like this is taking for ever, I know I did it while Jason was deployed the second time around, but once you are putting him to bed at 7 and not hearing him again until 7 the next morning you will have forgotten what it was like to have a baby that didn't sleep all night!! :)

    ps--i didn't do baby wise, we just had a schedule that worked for us.

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  15. I'm another girl without kids as of now, but when I started talking to a close friend of mine about when we'd start welcoming little ones in to the world, she told me about this book.

    She used it on her two boys and loved it. Yes, some people think it's mean. But even to this day, her boys who are 3 & 6 still have incredible sleep schedules. Though it may just take a little time to get Keating to start sleeping longer, I don't see why it wouldn't be worth a try.

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  16. My daughter always wanted to sleep in our bed. If you are comfortable with it I would buy a snuggle nest for him to sleep in, it really helped us. We also put her pack n play next to our bed so I can comfort her easily.

    I wouldn't feel comfortable letting a 7 week old cry it out at night, it is very normal for him to be waking up at night. My daughter is now 5 months and she starts the night in her pack n play but we co sleep for the rest of the night. Do what works for you, but he is still really little so hang in there.

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  17. 45 min I couldnt do it no way that would seem like 5 hours to a mommy! Plus couldnt that cause a lot of stress I thought 15 min was max for crying. I did the same thing your doing with Bryce Every night hed start in his crib and end up in bed with me. And every morning even now hes 2 and he wakes up at 4:30 and crawls in bed with me...... Thers a book by Elizabeth something or other it is the no cry sleep method.... Try it I read it it helped a little Bryce still woke up but some of the tricks worked. I didnt read it until he was 4 months too so maybe I got it too late. Good Luck =( I wish I could help as Bryce was the same way but I couldnt figure it out and it was a year before he was consistently sleeping through the night. I hope you and Keating figure it out better then we did!!! Hugs tired mommy friend!

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  18. Please don't let him cry for 45 mins -- your instincts are correct. That's too long for such a young baby.

    Our lives changed when we moved to a 3 hour cycle during the day. Something about the predictability of getting the next meal really calmed Luke down. That may work for you... something to think about.

    I know it sucks and this is a really personal decision. Just use your best judgment. In my opinion, 7 weeks is way too young to sleep train. He needs to know you are there for him when he cries, even if it's just to be held.

    For whatever it's worth, Luke was up several times a night at that age. Shortly thereafter, he started sleeping 6 hours straight, then 9 hours... he then started sleeping 12 hours straight and has done so since 3 months old.

    Best of luck to you. I know it's hard.

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  19. My close friend started using Babywise at around 5 weeks (and it worked!), so 7 weeks isn't too young!

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  20. baby wise is way stricter than baby whisperer! :-) I saw your latest post that it's been helping some - i will be praying :-) Adam and I were totally on the go way to much to do baby wise but we kinda did a modified version with flexible schedule . . .

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